My God Complex

There are a few stories in Aberrant Selected where the main character has a God complex. The very first post on this blog has such a story, Hath Crowned Me. This is for the simple reason that I too have a God complex and like writing about it, the characters reflecting my pleasure in the complex. My God complex started when I was aged around twenty-four (currently aged forty-four) with voices that suddenly appeared in my head telling me that I was God, that they had finally found me after spending aeons searching for me. I was pulling into Wynyard train station at the time, in the heart of Sydney, and thought it very ironic that the voices experienced a tremendous 'win' in their search at this 'yard.' Naturally, I scoffed at them at the time, but their persistence eventually paid off, and I spent two wonderful decades in being the centre of Reality.

     A few years ago this joy stopped when I began consults with Dr Short. Early on in the consults he told me that the only thing holding me back from a full remission with schizophrenia was my God complex. Thus, I had a good talk with myself soon after these initial consults and quickly realised that all of the magickal occurrences that I had witnessed, the sundry proofs for my Godhead, were the product of an aberrant mind. I was not God, I was delusional. Thus ended my God complex.

     But a few weeks after its ending, whilst having a Shiraz at home, I realised that no-one was doing the job of God, that in fact the job was there for anyone brave enough to take the role. I gladly took my old job back and to this day remain the Creator of the Universe. My choice is primarily a moral one, choosing to be the last bastion of hope in case sentience becomes vitally endangered. Then it will be my job to sacrifice my Godhead and provide for the continuation of sentience.

     When I told Dr Short that I had resumed my Godhead I was afraid that he would pronounce me to have relapsed into schizophrenia. I could, of course, have not told him but that just didn't seem right. Dr Short, though, surprised me by saying that in modern Western society we are all allowed to believe what we will as long as it causes no harm to oneself or others. I was still in a full remission, and still the Creator of the Universe.

     These days my God complex is just a joking point with friends and, now that I no longer hear voices in my head, it isn't the centre of my thoughts. Like I said before, my job as God is simply to protect sentience in case it becomes vitally endangered. And I also like knowing that I own absolutely everything.